Having not watched a single complete college basketball game in all of 2019, I am hopelessly lost when it comes to March Madness. Looking at my brackets from 2011, 2013, 2016, or 2017, one can see a clear and convincing pattern of deterioration into abject failure.
Last year, I finished seventeenth out of 21 in my (free) office pool, a borderline embarrassing performance. I say “borderline” only because it’s tough to be embarrassed when the subject matter is so unfamiliar to me now. It would be like feeling shame over finishing 17th in a Japanese spelling bee.
I won’t belabor the point further. This year’s meager offering is as unimaginative as it is likely to produce a now-customarily poor finish. So be it.
For your amusement, then: