Not Creepy Enough

This 1988 ad for a local optical shop seems misguided at best.  The concept is that their low prices allow customers to purchase two pairs of glasses for the same price that their competitors charge for one pair assembled (is that the right verb?) using one-hour service.

This is apparently an especially attractive offer for mutant clientele:



As an FYI to you youngsters, giant lenses were popular in the 80’s.

He’s got an unmistakable look of satisfaction on his face that says “Hmm!  Not too shabby!”

Because of his bizarre facial configuration, this misshapen sideshow washout’s ears have to pull double duty when it comes to accommodating his giant (but reasonably-priced!) spectacles.

Also, if you did have two sets of eyes—both of which required glasses—would you really go with two different styles?  I feel like doubling up on the same frames draws slightly less attention to your unfortunate situation.

Personally, and I say this as the proud owner of a fivehead, I would go with nondescript frames for the lower eyes, and a Bret-Michaels-style giant bandana up top, possibly working in the cowboy hat combo.  Of course, the bandana is essentially a blindfold at that point, but so be it.

Logistical nightmare.  Also an actual nightmare.

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2 Responses to Not Creepy Enough

  1. Rod Johnson says:

    Ah yes! The halcyon days of the 80’s when artists like MC Escher lent their hand to the advertising agencies. Can’t wait until Mad Men gets to this era.

    • Tom Garrett says:

      I would love to see a past-his-prime Don Draper trying to talk some sense into 80s idiots who come up with crap like this. Unfortunately, I’m not sure what kind of shape Don will be in in another 13-15 (show) years.

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