Untimely Movie Review: Full Metal Jacket

Posted on August 2, 2021 by Tom Garrett

If you saw Full Metal Jacket years ago, or you’ve only watched a few key scenes on YouTube, you probably love the movie.  Or, you think you do, anyway.  

If it’s been a while since you’ve seen it, it may come as some surprise that Full Metal Jacket is part of a sub-set of films that include an iconic first portion, followed by a middling or flawed remainder that nobody really remembers because oh my God that first part!  Other examples might include Stripes or Superbad, not that those films are anything like FMJ.  Nor are they part of the Warner Bros. 50 Film Collection.

The first 45 minutes of Full Metal Jacket is virtually an extended montage scene, save for two voiceovers by Private Joker (Matthew Modine), which provide some cover exposition to allow the audience to understand how much time has passed.  Those 45 minutes are absolutely riveting, as Drill Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey) whips young Marines into shape in preparation for the horrors of Vietnam. 

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NCAA Football without the “NCAA”

Posted on July 2, 2021 by Tom Garrett

Seems like a good time to re-up this piece in 2013, which, in turn, was based on a law-school paper I wrote predicting the NCAA’s ultimate defeat in preventing players from profiting from their name, image, and likeness.

Tom Garrett's avatarThe Axis of Ego

NCAAFootball14NCAA Football, long a staple of the EA Sports gaming line-up, will cease to exist after the current version—a least under that name.

The NCAA announced yesterday that it would not renew its long-standing licensing deal with Electronic Arts.  An agreement between the two parties has existed in some form for 20 years.  The reason for the change is fairly simple: The Ed O’Bannon lawsuit creates huge potential liability for the NCAA.  Should a court rule that the organization must compensate athletes for the use of their likenesses, the NCAA could be on the hook for millions upon millions of dollars, depending on where the “line” is drawn for damages in terms of timing and the size of the class eligible for recovery.

Naturally, the NCAA says that “We are confident in our legal position regarding the use of our trademarks in video games.  But, given the current business…

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Untimely Movie Review: Lethal Weapon

Posted on June 21, 2021 by Tom Garrett

LethalWeaponThe next stop in my meandering, years-long journey through the Warner Bros. 50 Film Collection is Lethal Weapon, a film that walks a thin line between wildly entertaining (if absurd) action movie and borderline-self-parody buddy-cop trope-fest.  Man, that was a lot of hyphens.

Hindsight blurs that line, as retrospective eyes make elements that were still fresh in 1987 seem like hopeless clichés.  As with any historical work or figure, I judge it in the context of the times in which it existed.  As such, Lethal Weapon holds up better than one might reasonably expect.

Mel Gibson’s suicidal, manic, disheveled, chain-smoking-and-junk-food-eating Riggs has undeniable comic chemistry with Danny Glover’s by-the-book, old-school Murtaugh.  We’re in Gibson’s “still clearly Australian” period, here.  This is also one of those movie scenarios where Gibson is playing younger than his actual age, and Glover is playing “too-old-for-this-shit” (in reality, they’re only 10 years apart).  See also Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

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Untimely Movie Review: The Color Purple

Posted on June 14, 2021 by Tom Garrett

TheColorPurpleThe Color Purple has the distinction of being the most-nominated film not to win an Oscar.  The 1985 adaptation of the Alice Walker novel earned an impressive 11 nominations, but failed to win a single Academy Award, tying the record held by mostly-forgotten 1977 ballet drama The Turning Point.

Watching The Color Purple for the first time, it was easy for me to see why it earned such critical acclaim.  It tackled topics that would have filled most Academy voters’ bingo cards: rape, incest, pervasive abuse, more rape, forbidden sexuality, a hard-but-brief detour into racism, and female empowerment.

Yet, the film suffers from the same structural challenges that plague many other movies based on books, whether Gone with the Wind or Doctor Zhivago.  Namely, there is simultaneously too much and too little: we get a story in the form of snapshots, jumping from era to era at an almost-breakneck pace, but without some of the detail that surely fleshed-out the novel (which, unsurprisingly, I haven’t read).

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Untimely Movie Review: Amadeus

Posted on June 7, 2021 by Tom Garrett

AmadeusThere are two vital pieces of insight I’ve learned about Amadeus in the years since I first saw it.

The first was Milos Forman’s observation that the film had not two brilliant stars, but three: F. Murray Abraham, Tom Hulce, and the music.

In a way, this is a bit of a cheat, as the music in question had existed for hundreds of years before the play or movie ever existed.  The “standing-on-the-shoulders-of-giants” concerns can be swept aside in light of the scope and presentation of that music by Forman—both in terms of the actual staging of the large, operatic and orchestral scenes, as well as the depiction of the creative process itself.

The second bit of insight came from Hulce’s revelation that he based his spectacular performance as Mozart on observations of John McEnroe.  McEnroe had become the greatest tennis player in the world by the time of the filming of Amadeus, and, by the time of its release, arguably the greatest tennis player the world had ever seen.

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Let’s All Make Fun of Tom’s Brackets (2021 Edition)

Posted on March 19, 2021 by Tom Garrett

Although my March Madness expertise remains as low as it was in 2011, 2013, 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019, I am at least reinvigorated following the absence of a tournament last year.  It won’t be quite the same as it would be in a normal season, but at least we have some games to watch.

Still, I can’t quite get over the late-season swoon by my beloved beliked(?) Richmond Spiders.  This turned out to be the most disappointing season of my lifetime, as several brushes with COVID-19 derailed most of the momentum that the senior-laden team had coming off of a strong 24-7 campaign.  I can only hope that they somehow win the NIT Tournament—a tournament I didn’t realize was happening until 48 hours before tipoff! 

Three wins to go as of this writing.  Go Spiders!

As for the Big Dance, I based everything on the idea that Gonzaga is clearly the best team in the country (they’re undefeated and have won all but one game by double-digits), but that nobody can go undefeated in today’s game.  Therefore, Baylor (or, more likely, someone I didn’t pick) will knock off the Zags before they complete the task.  If that powerhouse Kentucky team of a few years ago couldn’t do it, it seems like the odds are against it, even if Gonzaga is the clear favorite, if that makes sense.

Look, I’m seconds away from getting into an explanation of probability and “The Monty Hall Problem,” and nobody wants that.  Let’s end it here.  Laugh away:

NCAA Bracket 2021

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The WandaVision Series Finale

Posted on March 5, 2021 by Tom Garrett

And, so, the first (and, presumably, only) season of WandaVision came to a conclusion with Episode 9, “The Series Finale.”  Before I get into the spoiler-y bits, let me recap the key finale expectations I had after last week’s episode.  They were as follows:

1. A segue into Multiverse of Madness, possibly with a Dr. Strange cameo (or at least a reference).
2. A definitive answer about why Quicksilver looks like that.
3. A definitive answer as to Vision’s fate.
4. The destruction of the Hex and the restoration of Westview.
5. A non-definitive answer as to Wanda’s good / bad alignment, possibly including her killing Hayward.
6. Agatha, a natural tweener, winds up on the side of “good” by the end of the episode in an effort to contain Wanda.
7. REED RICHARDS (or, in a swerve, Victor Von Doom)
8. A fully-powered Monica / Spectrum.
9. An hour-long episode, or close to it.

How’d we do?  Well, if you’ve watched the episode already, you know.

But, for those who didn’t and don’t . . .

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

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No Multiverse Required

Posted on February 26, 2021 by Tom Garrett

Over the last month, WandaVision seemingly opened the door to a much larger multiverse, but still left several crucial issues unresolved.

Episode 8, “Previously On,” gave us a few answers, and seemingly ruled out some of the more wild-eyed possibilities.

Well, maybe.  It will be difficult to separate red herrings from genuine truths right up until the end-credits scene of next week’s final episode.  For now, we do have some unambiguous clarity about what’s been happening in Westview.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

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Dead is Dead – Or Is It?

Posted on February 19, 2021 by Tom Garrett

Over the past three weeks, WandaVision has gone from “show I watch every week when I get a chance” to “a must-watch show the day it comes out” to “show I get up early on Friday to watch first thing.”  The only remaining rung on this maniacal ladder is “show I stay up until 3:00 AM Eastern to see the moment it’s available.”

While we’re not there yet, Episode 7 (“Breaking the Fourth Wall”) did a lot to set the stage for the final two episodes.

There were several curious aspects to this episode, but we also got some major hints as to what’s going on (and what’s to come).  In no particular order [*SPOILERS AHEAD*]:

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The Truman Show Meets Field of Dreams

Posted on February 13, 2021 by Tom Garrett

I guess this is a WandaVision blog now!

Last time around, I made the following observation (among others):

Likewise, there are perhaps three explanations for Vision.  One, because he’s a synthetic being, albeit a sentient one, the “rule” about resurrection didn’t apply to him the same way it applied to her Pietro (or even to a dog), or the “rule” is purely one of self-restraint for Wanda.

Two, the rule does apply to Vision, but Wanda has somehow found a way to circumvent that rule, albeit at a cost.  Her defiance of the natural order and the associated strain are damaging reality and are what creates the blending of other universes into her own (which is how Evan Peters got there).

Three, the Vision we’re seeing on WandaVision is a different Vision.  The original MCU Vision is dead.  Wanda has his disassembled parts stashed away somewhere, and she pulled a non-dead Vision to her pocket reality the same way she pulled Evan Peters’ Quicksilver there, whether consciously or not.  Vision’s mind has essentially been wiped, pre-Westview, so it’s impossible to say if this could be the case yet.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

“Westview is charming as HELL,” huh, Quicksilver?

WandaVision is a weird enough show that I don’t think anything can be absolutely ruled out yet.  For example, why doesn’t Vision know who the Avengers are?  Has his mind simply been wiped, or is this a “different” Vision who comes from a reality where the Avengers don’t exist?  Even with that scenario still (barely) on the table, though, I think the sixth episode of the series makes the second possibility the current leader in the clubhouse.

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