“Make sure ‘MOUTH’ is in all-caps”

“Hey, remember Pop Rocks?  Kids like those, right?”

“Well, sir, they’re still around, but they aren’t quite as popular as . . . ”

“I loved them when I was a kid!”

“Right, I was going to say they were extremely popular in the 1980s, but, in the last 15-20 years, they haven’t been . . . ”

“Kids love them.  Ok, so, why don’t we make giant Pop Rocks?”

“You mean make a bigger version of Pop Rocks?”

“Bingo!  Bigger is better!  And we’ll call them ‘Giant Pop Rocks.'”

“Sir, I’m not sure we have that trademark.”

“Come on.  We’re Kraft!  We have every trademark.”

“I’ll have to research the . . . ”

“Pffft.  Watch, I’ll show you.  (*picks up phone*)  Hey, Susie?  Pop Rocks—that’s us, right?  That’s what I thought.  Thank you. (*hangs up*)  It’s us.  Toldya.”

“Well, sir, I’m not sure there’s enough of a demand for Pop Rocks to justify creating a larger version of the same underselling product.”

“No, no, no, I love this idea.  End of discussion.  You might be right about the brand, though.  Let’s piggyback it onto something that sells.  You know, just to make sure it works.  Giant Pop Rocks is happening.  Just accept it.”

“You mean, like, incorporating these large Pop Rocks into an existing property?”

“Exactly!”

“Something like . . . putting the Pop Rocks . . . in Macaroni & Cheese?”

” . . . Are you being serious right now?”

“Uh . . . yes?”

” . . . . . . . Honestly?”

“You don’t like the idea?”

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?  IS THIS WHY WE PAY YOU . . . OK, I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH WE PAY YOU, BUT, EVEN IF IT’S TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR, IT’S TOO F@#$ING MUCH.  I DON’T CARE THAT YOU HAVE A LITTLE IVY ON YOUR DAMN FANCY-PANTS DIPLOMA—IF YOU EVER TOSS OUT AN IDEA LIKE THAT AGAIN, I’LL TOSS YOU OUT OF THIS COMPANY ON YOUR ASS!”

“I apologize, sir.  What did you have in mind?”

(*laughs maniacally*)

[EIGHT MONTHS LATER]

PoppinPebbles

 

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One Response to “Make sure ‘MOUTH’ is in all-caps”

  1. Pingback: Best of 2014 | The Axis of Ego

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