SitCombat: 5/3/12

There’s no elaborate introduction necessary this week.  The fact of the matter is that 30 Rock has claimed victory a record nine straight weeks.  Given the struggles of the Office of late, Alec Baldwin and company have a terrific opportunity to make it an incredible ten in-a-row.

An uncertain future serves as the backdrop for this ongoing battle.  Neither show (nor any of the regulars in NBC’s Thursday night comedy lineup) have been renewed for next season.  Will 30 Rock be back next year?  Will the Office?  Will both be canceled?  If they come back, will we see retooling, especially on the Office?

We just don’t know yet.  But how these final few weeks play out may go a long way in determining the answer.  This was SitCombat for May 3, 2012:

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Unfortunate Placement

I mentioned recently that I had been working on a couple of research projects at the library.  The details are unimportant (and boring), but the research involves perusing a lot of old newspapers on microfilm (or microfiche—I don’t know the difference).  One of the best parts about this activity is coming across amusing cultural artifacts.  For example, this unfortunate positioning of the advertisements for two movies.

Note the tagline of the film on the left, and the title of the film on the right:

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The Company Man

Yesterday, April 29th, was World Wish Day.  It’s a day that celebrates the legacy of the Make-a-Wish Foundation “with wishes being granted worldwide.  It’s a day to think about how wishing makes our world better.”

Those are the words of John Cena, WWE Superstar, and the man who has granted more wishes (over 250 now) than anyone in the history of the charity.  He is the man who eschews the more self-aggrandizing or nonsensical slogans of his counterparts in favor of positive mantras like “Hustle, Loyalty, Respect,” “Never Give Up,” or “Rise Above Hate.”  And he out-sells all of his colleagues with those messages.

But he is also the same man who has spent the better part of five years being booed by half of the audience members who pay to see him perform.

Yesterday was also the date of WWE’s “Extreme Rules” pay-per-view.  The climactic match saw an already banged-up Cena battered and beaten at the hands of a seemingly-reckless Brock Lesnar.  Cena ultimately “won” the match—his first meaningful win in some time—but he was legitimately injured in the process.  Whether those injuries were limited to lacerations and bruises remains to be seen.  This was all in service of making sure that the returning Lesnar looked like a dominant force of nature.

Once again, it was up to Cena to make that possible.  Once again, the WWE left another Superstar’s career fortunes in the hands of the company’s most trusted performer.  Once again, that performer delivered.

In other words, it was just another day at the office for John Cena.

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Vin Scully

As I type this, we’re just minutes away from the much-anticipated debut of (mildly controversial) Nationals phenom Bryce Harper.  The Nationals take on the Dodgers tonight in Los Angeles.  Because of that, Vin Scully will have the distinction of calling Bryce Harper’s first Major League Baseball game.

You know who else had his debut called by Vin Scully?

Mickey Mantle.

Mickey Mantle, who retired—retired—forty-four years ago.

Mickey Mantle, who died seventeen years ago.

Scully called his first World Series in 1952.  When he was 25.  No one else that young has ever called a national World Series broadcast.

If Bryce Harper is three-fourths the player the Nationals believe him to be, he’ll be in the majors for at least a decade.  That would put his retirement somewhere in the vicinity of 2025, or seventy-five years after Scully did his first Dodgers game for radio and television.

This year, like last year, and, to a lesser extent, like the year before that, is supposed to be Scully’s last.  I think we can take Scully at his word that his retirement will come to pass this time.  Particularly in a world with graceless homers and forgettable Fox Sports Net carbon copies manning local broadcasts, baseball without Scully will be a slightly less-appealing game.

I miss him already.

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A Simple Formula

Gawker’s latest in a 374-part series about the “racist” HBO show Girls includes a reference to searching for a “Black Costanza,” meaning someone on television to whom black viewers may relate—but who also happens to look like them.

I think I’ve tracked down the top candidate:



It may be putting a lot on the shoulders of Mike Tirico to ask him to bridge the cultural and ethnic divide on television, but he’s as strong an option as any.  Someone’s got to do it.  Otherwise, we’ll be doomed to another decade-plus of painful, televised racism.

For a good take on the Girls controversy, go here.

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SitCombat: 4/26/12

As the barren, post-apocalyptic world of the Office scrambles to find fresh water and seeks shelter in a burned-out building on a charred city street, 30 Rock loads up with a live episode for a possible ninth consecutive victory.

I may be harsh on the Office these days, but that harshness comes from a sympathetic place.  The show had some good years, but, despite some hopeful signs early in the season, I’ve reluctantly joined the sad chorus declaring the show all but dead.  What’s worse is that it must tangle with a live episode of 30 Rock in order to shake off a record-setting slump.

Or, we could choose to look at the last two months of 30 Rock victories as a record winning streak.  Glass half-full and all that.  This, the second live episode of the show, will probably be loaded with guest stars and cameos that make it a very likely winner.  On the other hand, there’s always a chance Tracy Morgan something could go horribly wrong.

Let’s find out which it is.  This was SitCombat for April 26, 2012:

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Do I Ever Need to Buy Another Video Game?

As I reached the decision not to invest in this year’s versions of NCAA Football and Tiger Woods PGA Tour (because I liked the previous editions, but do not like redundancy), a larger point occurred to me: Do I need another video game?

I don’t mean now.  I mean ever.

An obvious opening note would be that my general appetite for gaming has subsided predictably as I’ve gotten older.  I use my Playstation 3 mostly for watching streaming Netflix content, watching baseball via MLB.TV, and watching Blu-ray movies.  Still, firing up the PS3 or Wii for a half-hour once or twice a week for some button-mashing can be a lot of fun.

The thing is, I’ve noticed that I’m playing throwback games almost exclusively of late, either through the Wii’s Virtual Console[1] or via old PSN games or Sega Genesis classics on PS3.  My interest in complex, “modern” games has given way to a desire to pick up and play easily with a more limited time commitment.  Mobile app games have also reminded me that simplicity is a huge plus for someone who doesn’t want to spend dozens of hours per week on a video game.

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A Headline You Wouldn’t See Today

I stumbled across the article pictured to the left while doing some unrelated research this past weekend.  It’s an AP story in a 1972 edition of the Richmond News Leader, a terrific newspaper that served as the afternoon equivalent of the morning Richmond Times-Dispatch (except with a superior sports section) until the latter bought the former and merged the papers in the early 1990’s, thus ending the existence of the News Leader.  This particular edition is from years before I was born, but provides a snapshot of the attitudes of the time, particularly as it pertained to women in sports.

The context is that Betty Burfeindt, a relative newcomer to the LPGA, had won back-to-back tournaments after previously struggling as a professional golfer.  Note that the article recounts a tale of her having to sell her mink coat(!) to make ends meet meet and continue her playing career.

The notable fact about the article is the headline.  Burfeidnt is not identified by name, but, rather, as “Blonde,” as in “Blonde Wins 2d Tourney In 2 Weeks.”  The body of the article mentions “[t]he 26-year-old blonde from Caanan, N.Y. . . . ”

The AP—I’m assuming the AP crafted its own headlines then, but I don’t know that for certain—chose to refer to her simply as “Blonde,” despite the fact that she had just won her second consecutive tournament, a feat that might have otherwise been worthy of a more specific noun.  The article also uses the classic convention of referring to unmarried women as “Miss [Last Name],” rather than merely “[Last Name].”

I suppose others would become irritated or, depending on the person’s proximity to a college campus at the time, even infuriated by this, but I just find it to be an interesting and mildly amusing cultural artifact from a much different world than the one in which we now live.

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SitCombat: 4/19/12

The Office may be on its last legs.  That’s a simple reality.  Cast members are getting involved in other projects right and left, and the instability in front of and behind the camera appears to have taken a toll on the direction of the show in the post-Tallahassee episodes.

Then there’s 30 Rock.  Also not renewed yet, the show has nonetheless remained strong. It’s also won SitCombat an unprecedented seven weeks in a row.  While the Office tries to rally back for one more season (possibly to reinvent itself), the cast and crew of 30 Rock chug along with an equal amount of uncertainty about their collective fate.

This was SitCombat for April 19, 2012:

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Oh, Those Lawyers

Every attorney publication I’ve read or speaking engagement I’ve attended[1] invariably, eventually, relentlessly tackles one of two weighty subjects:

1. The importance of striking a balance between work life and personal life.

2. Maintaining civility within the practice of law.

For those of you who aren’t attorneys, imagine reading an editorial advocating sexual modesty written by a porn star, or hearing a lecture on the value of Charles Darwin’s research given by a creationist.

The same attorney who stands before a gathering of a Young Lawyer Conference and says that attorneys must remember to keep their work lives in perspective and make time for hobbies and interests wouldn’t hesitate to fire any associate who chronically left the office at 5:00 o’clock to play beer league softball or take improv classes.

And that lawyer who writes the piece stressing civility towards his fellow practitioner might be first in line to embed passive-aggressive asides in his correspondence with you if you ever have the misfortune of being on the opposite side of the negotiating table or courtroom.

Not all of the messengers are disingenuous.  Some trumpet these themes because they’ve observed the same professional mores I and many others have.  Some are merely oblivious to the contradiction.  They fail to take notice of the fact that their behavior is at odds with their stated philosophy.

I do believe that there are a few, however, who say or write such things for public consumption because they suspect these to be the most beneficial to their own image, despite the fact that it does not reflect the reality of their conduct or their core beliefs about the profession.  I wouldn’t be the first to point out that the transition from law to politics is often silky-smooth.

Saying that “lawyers are assholes” is an oversimplification.  And probably an unfair one at that.  The vast majority of attorneys aren’t difficult people.  But lawyer jokes and stereotypical reputations didn’t materialize out of thin air, either.  I would describe it thusly: Lawyers, as a group, possess traits that are positive in some contexts, but do these same attorneys a disservice when those characteristics migrate from the specific environments in which they’re helpful.  Those traits might include things like tenacity, self-importance, and being extremely particular about minutiae.  So, describing a “typical” lawyer as an asshole would be as imprecise as criticizing a bird for being extremely slow on the basis that it doesn’t walk very well.

Lawyers are generally terrible at keeping the importance of their work in the proper perspective.  Not only have I dealt with this on a personal level, but friends of mine who work in the paralegal or document services industries have no shortage of stories about attorneys at large firms who think nothing of making sudden requests for work at all hours of the day or night, weekends and holidays notwithstanding, despite the fact that the work might only be “important” insofar as it saves a billion-dollar company a few thousand bucks over the course of a year.

I’m not saying that this isn’t significant work by some standard.  It’s simply that the relative unimportance of the work escapes many attorneys who behave as if what they do is of the highest value to society.  More often than not, this feeling doesn’t even manifest itself as pretentiousness.  Its less-virulent strain is closer to compulsion than arrogance: A committed belief that certain doom awaits if they leave the office before the boss does.

The problem is that, no matter how many times they’re told that they need to pump the brakes when it comes to plowing through 15-hour days or obsessing over minor details, most lawyers will continue to do just that.  Why?  Reasons vary.  It might be pressure to maintain a certain lifestyle.  It might be the simple desire to impress a superior.  It could be (possibly justified) paranoia about losing one’s job.

Whatever it is, it goes beyond a basic devotion to diligence or pride in one’s work.  I have both of those things.  I did not have the requisite affinity for status or the ability to attach an inflated sense of meaning to negotiating leases or drafting discovery documents.  For better or worse, I at least figured that much out while still in law school, allowing me to bypass the big firm pitfalls that befell some of my Law Review cohorts.[2]

I realized fairly quickly that the day-to-day routine of a typical attorney was something in which I could never invest fully for more than 40 hours a week.  That’s problematic in an industry that expects 60-to-80-hour weeks.

Unless, of course, you’re comfortable not using your law license in a traditional way.

Even with all of that in mind, I never cease to be amazed at the disconnect between what lawyers tell other lawyers outside of their firms, and what they expect of their employees within those walls.  Whatever that phenomenon is, it isn’t going anywhere.

And, I suppose, this piece criticizing attorneys who suggest that attorneys need to take a step back and keep things in perspective became precisely such a suggestion.

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[1] I’m speaking here of non-subject-matter-specific lectures or magazines.  I’m obviously not suggesting that CLEs I attend devolve into a talk on spending time with your kids.
[2] Subtly mentioning in passing that I made Law Review?  Nailed it!  (Maybe I do have some lawyer in me after all)
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