The Gathering Storm (Redux)

With today’s Thursday’s impending announcement of the result in the Affordable Care Act cases, I thought it appropriate to revisit this piece from a few months ago.  No matter the outcome in the case (and the tea leaves seem to suggest that the law will be ruled unconstitutional), the reaction and coverage of same is likely to be oversimplified, overstated, and generally insufferable.

Whichever way the case comes out, we’ll hear screams that this case marks the “end of freedom” or some such thing.  Just keep in mind that the law being struck down doesn’t represent any real obstacle to a system that will ultimately produce universal healthcare, and that the law being upheld doesn’t represent any real obstacle to its being repealed a year from now.  I can guarantee you that one of those two arguments (depending on the outcome of the decision) will be making the rounds on cable news all week.

One final thought: Remember that, if the Court rules against the law, the ACA must be struck down in its entirety due to a lack of a severability clause.  In other words, whereas a provision of the USA PATRIOT Act may be ruled unconstitutional without killing the entire bill, the individual mandate being ruled unconstitutional here would serve as a judicial repeal of the entire ACA because of its lack of such a clause.

I’ve often wondered whether the decision to exclude a severability provision were a strategic one. Whether it were or not, just remember that the other provisions of the ACA would still be left standing in the face of a ruling on the individual mandate had the law been drafted with such a provision.  I suspect that a ruling against the ACA will be met with subtle (or not-so-subtle) implications that striking down the entire law was an overreach by the Court, when, in fact, there was no discretion available on the point.

No matter what happens, partisans on one side or the other will insist that the sky is falling and the world as we know it has ended.  This is not the case.  More to the point, a ruling against the ACA will undoubtedly spawn a deluge of anti-judicial-activism retorts from people who adore judicial activism when it’s used in ways that help their ideological causes.  That, really, is the point of this piece: Hypocrites and equivocators are already a dime a dozen.  This ruling will simply accelerate their mass production.

The only real question is: Which model will come flying off the assembly line in a few hours days?

Posted in Commentary, Politics | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Cauvin on Carolla

I was going to write an article on the latest Adam Carolla-themed flap.  The essay probably would have spiraled into the usual verbose piece, touching on notions of free speech and whether our desire for an equality regime has gone so far as to obscure and suppress uncomfortable truths—even when delivered as humor.

But then J-L Cauvin wrote this, thus preemptively rendering obsolete anything that I would have to say about the topic.

I invite anyone who’s a fan of Carolla (as I am), or anyone who has a newfound (or longstanding) hate for the Aceman to read Cauvin’s article.  In it, he brilliantly distills the two major questions related to this kerfuffle.  Namely, whether what Carolla said had any merit, and, perhaps more to the point, what the “Carolla isn’t funny / Carolla is irrelevant” line of criticism actually says about those who lobbed it (Spoiler: He is both funny and relevant).

If you care at all about what happened this week, do yourself a favor and read Cauvin’s thoughts on the topic.

In closing, I’m going to post a video that immediately came to mind when I read the first wave of anti-Carolla articles online at outlets such as the Washington Post or Salon.  The substance is certainly different, but a general point that the late, great Patrice O’Neal makes here is also relevant in this context.  Enjoy.


Posted in Commentary, General Culture and News, Links | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What to Make of Mad Men’s Fifth Season

Mad Men concluded its fifth season last night with an episode that seemed to revert the story—or at least Don’s story—to its factory settings.  Nothing’s for sure thanks to the semi-cliffhanger ending, but we at least got a hint that Don may be returning to his previous pattern of infidelity.

Why?  As with most things on the show, it’s not entirely clear, and it may never be.  The most obvious explanation would be depression over Lane and, by extension, Adam.  Don feels responsible for both suicides, and he receives no absolution even when he unilaterally decides to reimburse Lane’s widow with the $50,000 buy-in Lane provided to SCDP after Lucky Strike pulled out.

If that’s the correct analysis, the follow-up question is whether it’s merely depression that puts Don back on the path to infidelity.  Complicating matters is the fact that Don’s wandering eye during his previous marriage coincided with Betty’s acceptance of the role of a traditional (perhaps bored) housewife.

Here, the exact opposite is happening.  Megan is pursuing her acting ambitions vigorously, despite emotional abuse from her mother and some resistance from Don over possible out-of-town gigs.  Don relents in the season finale, reconsidering his previous position against using his influence to place his wife in an advertisement for an SCDP client.  Yet, we still get an unmistakable whiff of vintage 1960 Don Draper at the end of the episode.

Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Papa, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

It’s safe to say that I’m a fat guy pizza aficionado.  Papa John’s is my favorite among the chain pizza “restaurants.”  In fact, placing a Sunday order to PJ’s is an almost-weekly ritual during football season.  Put simply, I’m a frequent customer.

Even if I had taken several days off from going to the gym, even if I had noticed a little more roundness in my face, even if I had eaten pizza at work earlier in the week, none of those fact patterns would have enough negative momentum to shame me into refraining from obtaining a pie (or two[1]) if the mood struck me.

That’s why it’s so remarkable that I recently found myself on to the Papa John’s website, my belly empty and my head full—full of mozzarella-covered visions of gluttony, that is—and wound up logging off in disgust without ordering anything.

What could cause such a strange—some might say “sane”—reaction?

Nothing short of a staggering blunder by the good folks at this fine pizzeria.

Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, General Culture and News | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Nine Issues That May Frame the Next Generation of Political Debate

With gay marriage legalization proliferating and the near-inevitability of same-sex marriage being legal in nearly every jurisdiction within a decade, the question becomes what will be the next “cause” that will begin to make legislative gains over the next twenty years?

Keep a few things in mind.  First, as I’ve explained before, the desire people have to be engaged in “important” ideological battles or “culture wars” never goes away, even if issues become settled.  In other words, even if every major political question currently in play in American politics—universal healthcare, abortion, and so on—were answered definitively for the time being, Americans would find something new about which to push for change.

The desire to be in the fray—and to feel important—is a kind of hunger.  Just as with actual hunger, even if you eat every morsel of a given type of food until there isn’t any food left, you’re eventually going to be hungry again.  The lack of that food won’t prevent you from getting hungry.  You’ll be craving food again soon enough.[1]

Secondly, I’m going to skip obvious causes, or ones that follow completely from current events.  The decriminalization of pot, or transgender issues (which have already been lumped in with gay rights) are so clear as to feel like cheating when compiling such a list.  I’m also excluding mere cultural / technological shifts, such as the almost-certain death of daily print media and the effects that might have on our society.  I’m limiting this list to nine topics that may give rise to debates that generate legislative or regulatory efforts.

Here, I think, are nine of the topics at the margins of discussion in 2012 that will become quite pivotal over the next decade or two.  I conclude each with the best guess at the chances of some degree of widespread reform occurring within the next twenty years.

Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Not Creepy Enough

This 1988 ad for a local optical shop seems misguided at best.  The concept is that their low prices allow customers to purchase two pairs of glasses for the same price that their competitors charge for one pair assembled (is that the right verb?) using one-hour service.

This is apparently an especially attractive offer for mutant clientele:



As an FYI to you youngsters, giant lenses were popular in the 80’s.

He’s got an unmistakable look of satisfaction on his face that says “Hmm!  Not too shabby!”

Because of his bizarre facial configuration, this misshapen sideshow washout’s ears have to pull double duty when it comes to accommodating his giant (but reasonably-priced!) spectacles.

Also, if you did have two sets of eyes—both of which required glasses—would you really go with two different styles?  I feel like doubling up on the same frames draws slightly less attention to your unfortunate situation.

Personally, and I say this as the proud owner of a fivehead, I would go with nondescript frames for the lower eyes, and a Bret-Michaels-style giant bandana up top, possibly working in the cowboy hat combo.  Of course, the bandana is essentially a blindfold at that point, but so be it.

Logistical nightmare.  Also an actual nightmare.

Posted in General Culture and News, Pictures | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Awkward Moments in Entertainment History: A Steady Ringtone

Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig had already established themselves as international film stars by 2009.  Each achieved superstardom thanks to involvement with powerhouse movie franchise: Jackman was “Wolverine” from the X-Men series, while Craig landed the  coveted role of James Bond in that venerable cinematic institution.

Yet, neither lost his appetite for the stage.  In fact, they joined forces to play the characters in a two-man Broadway production of “A Steady Rain.”  The play follows the complicated lives of two Chicago police officers.  It received strong reviews upon its debut, broke the record for highest weekly gross by a non-musical, and drew interest from Steven Spielberg for a movie adaptation.

However, the play’s original run will likely be best remembered for an unfortunate (but funny) incident involving a cell phone.

Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, General Culture and News | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Any Minute Now

After years of outcry from frustrated fans and media members, the BCS appears to be headed toward extinction.  In its place, college football’s highest division will—at last—adopt a playoff system.  The details are uncertain at the moment, but the general idea will be to crown a titlist on the field without excluding any potential claimants to the throne.

But the good news may not end there.  An article I read last weekend suggested that the playoff system may be in place even earlier than we initially anticipated!

Specifically: 1986.


Four-team playoff?  Check!  Revenue sharing among all top-level schools?  Check!  Bowl chairmen opposed to the system on the grounds that “everyone wins” with bowls?  Check!  Networks willing to bid 10-to-14 million for the title game rights?  Che—wait.  Million?

I guess a few things do change.

I will now commence holding my breath . . .

Posted in Pictures, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

SitCombat: 5/10/12

The future of the Office and 30 Rock is still in doubt, although both may be moving toward official renewals. Both also may wind up knowing going in that next season will be their last. 30 Rock moves along a major plot point tonight with the return of Avery Jessup. Meanwhile, the corporate structure at Dunder Mifflin may be in for a shakeup thanks to a resurgent David Wallace.

All of that remains to be seen. On the SitCombat front, the Office put together a strong episode that toppled 30 Rock from the perch upon which it sat for an unprecedented nine consecutive weeks. Will the Office be able to start a streak of its own by continuing with a strong final run of episodes? Or will 30 Rock return to form and reclaim the crown from its fellow NBC series?

This was SitCombat for May 10, 2012:

Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Reviews, Television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Triumph of Self-Determination

The legislature of the state of Washington recently passed a measure to begin allowing same-sex marriages once the governor signs the bill into law this summer.  This action mirrored what occurred a few months earlier in the state of New York.  After several false starts, a lengthy debate, and a narrow vote, New York also passed legislation to redefine marriage to include same-sex relationships.

This is how democracy is supposed to work.

Voters in North Carolina elevated the state’s ban on same-sex marriage to its constitution this week.  The amendment also added a constitutional ban on civil unions or similar arrangements.  The measure passed by a comfortable margin.

The outcry over Amendment One’s passage, particularly from the young and from the famous, has been forceful and predictable.  This follows in the wake of Proposition 8’s passage (and subsequent legal issues) in California just a couple of years earlier.

I see both sets of events not as diametrically-opposed political outcomes, but as the same: Exercises in self-determination.

Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Politics | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments