The Axis of Ego

An Untimely Knight Rider Rant

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Tom Garrett

Can we talk about Knight Rider’s premise for a minute?

Anyone who reads this website on a consistent basis knows I have a high tolerance for suspension of disbelief. Talking car with advanced weaponry? No problem. I’m all in. Run with it.

But, even with a key point like that as part of the premise, the rest of the show has to make sense. With that in mind, let’s apply some inexplicably-timed scrutiny to the rest of the core tenets of the Knight Rider story.

Here’s the deal: An undercover police officer named Michael Long is trying to bust some bad guys. He may be a police lieutenant, but he’s actually spent half a year in the field. And, by “field,” I mean posing as part of a security detail for a chemical company in an attempt to prevent industrial espionage. At least I think that’s what’s going on. Something within hailing distance of that is definitely happening. We don’t need to get bogged down in details, nerds.

The important part is that this plan goes to hell within the first few minutes of the series, resulting in the following:

Continue reading →

Posted in Commentary, Television | Tagged 1980's, Commentary, David Hasselhoff, KITT, Knight Rider, Michael Knight, Rants, Television, The 80's | 7 Comments

SitCombat: 3/22/12

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Tom Garrett

30 Rock has triumphed three consecutive weeks and isn’t making things any easier on the competition this time around. The venerable NBC show has two all-new episodes tonight. Still, it’s far from a given that 30 Rock will make it four in a row, even with a double-barreled attempt at doing so. Archer is coming off of a very strong performance and presents its season finale this evening.

Meanwhile, the Office has been struggling of late. The folks from Scranton had put together a great midseason run, but an off week last time out casts some doubt on whether the Office will be able to put Archer or 30 Rock asunder. It definitely won’t this week, as the second new 30 Rock episode takes the place of the Office on the schedule. Perhaps its just as well to give that show a breather for a week. Hopefully the brief respite will allow the Office to return to the form it showed when it was winning this competition on a regular basis early in 2012.

With only two combatants, albeit with three shows, this was SitCombat for March 22, 2012:

Continue reading →

Posted in Commentary, Reviews, Television | Tagged 30 Rock, Archer, Caress of Krieger, Commentary, Mitt Romummy, Mitt Zombie, Normal Al, Reviews, Steel Hammerhands, Television, The Office, Weird Al Yankovic, Whorediot, William Baldwin | 5 Comments

A Simpler Time (to Pay Players to Hurt Other Players)

Posted on March 22, 2012 by Tom Garrett

Three thoughts came to mind when I heard the shocking news about the New Orleans Saints bounty fallout today:

1. All of the penalties seemed to be some degree of excessive. Sean Payton being suspended for a full year is a little much, but the Mickey Loomis half-season suspension is the most absurd. Payton and (especially) Gregg Williams don’t strike me as coaches who would be particularly receptive to a front-office person telling them how to run their team, even if he’s doing so on orders from the league via the franchise owner.

2. More surprising than the penalties was the lockstep march of the media in support of the harsh action by Roger Goodell and company. The sycophancy gold medal goes to Christine Brennan, who suggested that Goodell’s iron-fisted treatment of the Saints is not unlike the famous Kennesaw Mountain Landis decision to banish the Black Sox from baseball. Brennan even goes as far as to hint that Goodell will be remembered as a legendary(!) figure a century(!!!) from now if he remains committed to righteousness.

3. If Goodell had been the commissioner of the NFL in 1989, what would he have done about Buddy Ryan? Banned him for life? Ordered a public beheading? Banned him for life and then ordered a public beheading?

Continue reading →

Posted in Commentary, Sports, Videos | Tagged 1980's, 1989, Bounty Bowl, Buddy Ryan, Commentary, Gregg Williams, Jimmy Johnson, New Orleans Saints, New York Jets, NFL, Roger Goodell, Sean Payton, Sports, The 80's, Tim Tebow, Videos | Leave a comment

Intellectual Honesty in the Age of Unreason

Posted on March 20, 2012 by Tom Garrett

I hate to interrupt a string of lighthearted cultural observations, sports references, and stories about awkward moments in the annals of entertainment history with something more serious—but here goes.

A fascinating journal article came to my attention a couple of weeks ago. The piece was remarkable in its content and unintentionally provided me with a helpful (if unnecessary) reminder about the current state of political discourse in the United States.

The paper, “After-birth Abortion: Why Should the Baby Live?” appeared in the Journal of Medical Ethics on February 23rd. The title is appropriately suggestive of the subject matter. The crux of the argument advanced by authors Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva is that, since abortion is accepted (or at least legal) in many circumstances wholly unconnected to the health of the baby or the mother, and since a newborn baby has not yet achieved true “personhood,” it therefore follows that after-birth abortion—or, more properly, the killing of an infant—should be permissible in all cases where an abortion would also be permitted.

My initial reaction to the article was that it was perhaps a hoax—a “Modest Proposal”-style strawman created by someone on the right in an attempt to portray the frightening logical conclusion at the end of a slippery slope. This is not the case.

The manner by which I discovered this article is quite relevant. The piece popped up on my Facebook newsfeed along with some commentary by the conservative-leaning person who posted it, noting that this was how those on the left conceptualized the rights of the unborn (or, in this case, the newly born).

Outrage from pro-life folks who caught wind of the article has been widespread and powerful. They attack the viewpoint presented by Giubilini and Minerva as offensive, insensitive, or even unconscionable. I prefer to use different terminology.

Refreshing. Consistent. Intellectually honest.

I suppose I should note here that I would be vehemently opposed to any measure that allowed for what I consider to be infanticide. Put mildly, I do not agree with the conclusions drawn by the authors of this paper as to the morality of terminating the lives of infants. I nonetheless applaud them for having the audacity to publish it and for accepting the unfortunate consequences of doing so.

Continue reading →

Posted in Commentary, Politics | Tagged Abortion, Alberto Giubilini, Best in the World, Civility, Commentary, Conservatism, Fox News, Francesca Minerva, Gawker, Hyperbole, Intellectual Honesty, Journal of Medical Ethics, Liberalism, MSNBC, Politics, Reasonableness, Rhetoric, Rush Limbaugh, Sandra Fluke, Ultrasound, Virginia, War on Women | 16 Comments

SitCombat: 3/15/12

Posted on March 16, 2012 by Tom Garrett

I’m skipping the first night of the NCAA tournament to write a review of three sitcoms, so I’m going to dispense with the preamble this week. It’s only fair. I’ll just point out that 30 Rock is riding a two-week winning streak coming into tonight.

This was SitCombat for March 15, 2012:

30 Rock (NBC) – “St. Patrick’s Day”

Tonight’s Episode: Liz deals with the reappearance of Dennis, Jack mulls his place in the business world, and everyone tries to manage Jenna and Tracy’s egos.

Good Stuff: “It’s the tail I had until I was sixteen” . . . Tracy is only allergic to allergy medication, but he loves it!” . . . William of Orange invented the orange according to Yahoo! answers . . . I like Liz’s anti-Irish attitude . . . Liz gave to the IRA in the 90’s because she thought she was contributing to a retirement account . . . “I tried to steal beer from a Duane Reade, and some black guy cold-cocked me.” “Oh, like a security guard?” “I don’t know, pal, I don’t see people that way” . . . Tracy prays to Michael Jackson’s ghost . . . “I’ll replace your lizard with a gay guy in a giant champagne bottle” “SIRI, KILL JENNA!” . . . Dennis’ new business is burning your old DVDs onto laserdisc . . . Criss was a volunteer EMT…at Burning Man . . . “Me and Criss? We’re bang brothers!” . . . Jack playing Colonizers of Malaar . . . Liz’s German curse . . . “What does that mean, ‘once agan?’ That is not a thing” . . . “Whoa! Buy me a drink, first!” . . . “He was born in fourth-century Ireland. He might as well have been born in a grave” . . . “Is 70 not a good i.q.?” . . . Tracy’s attempt to replace Andy Rooney.

Continue reading →

Posted in Commentary, Reviews, Television | Tagged 30 Rock, Archer, Colonizers of Malaar, Commentary, Reviews, SitCombat, Sitcoms, Television, The Office | Leave a comment

R.I.P., AOL IM

Posted on March 14, 2012 by Tom Garrett

Fifteen years ago: I had never heard of it.

Ten years ago: It was ubiquitous.

Now: It’s dead.

I can’t imagine how much different my 20’s (especially my early 20’s) would have been without Instant Messenger. I used AOL’s IM program for three or four years before I ever had a cell phone or sent my first text message.

IM got me through many a boring afternoon of studying (or, some say, class) and allowed me to communicate (or, some say, annoy) friends and adversaries alike throughout law school. And, even if I were never totally sure whether it was “Instant Messenger” or “Instant Messager,” I won’t soon forget what it added to my day-to-day existence from 2001 until 2006 or so.

It’s surreal to think that a technology that didn’t exist when I was in high school, was unknown to me when I was in college, and was indispensable when I was in grad school is now about to become extinct.

First the Encyclopedia Britannica and now this. Rough day for people old enough to remember the Reagan Administration.

Michael McDonald and Aretha Franklin were right.

Posted in Commentary, General Culture and News | Tagged AIM, AOL, AOLIM, Commentary, General Culture and News, Instant Messenger, Nost | 2 Comments

Cutting Through the Corporate Code

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Tom Garrett

The curious leadership style of the board of directors of World Wrestling Entertainment, Incorporated (NYSE/NASDAQ: WWE) has again perplexed the business community and financial experts around the globe.

The company is currently in the midst of something of a power struggle between two longtime holders of upper-management positions, Theodore Long and John Laurinaitis. The board has concluded that the continued employment of both men is an impossibility. Such a scenario in and of itself isn’t all that unusual within the corporate world, particularly in a situation in which the company has a sizable entertainment component.

The unusual part is the method by which the company’s board will resolve the dilemma of which of the two mutually-exclusive employees to release.

The board issued a statement* this morning that I found to be remarkable in many respects. The document speaks for itself, but I’ve provided some annotations below to add context to the underlying substance. The take-home point is that the manner in which the corporate arm of WWE makes critical personnel decisions is totally foreign to the normal conduct of American industry:

I think the smart money is on Laurinaitis. He’s a ranking WWE executive, whereas this Long person holds no executive position insofar as I can tell, although he does have some impressive credentials. I suppose we’ll find out at WrestleMania 28 which employee will be retained. Appropriately enough (considering this company’s laughable business practices), the event takes place on April 1st.

______

*Yes, in reality, I understand the actual corporate Board of Directors did not generate this document. It’s a TV show. I get it.

Posted in Commentary, Pictures, Sports, Television | Tagged Boards of Directors, Business, Business Practices, Commentary, Corporations, John Laurinaitis, Pictures, Pro Wrestling, Sports, Television, Theodore Long, WrestleMania, WWE | Leave a comment

Site Reorganization / Slight Reorganization

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Tom Garrett

I’m overdue for some housecleaning.

I originally began the Axis of Ego with the intention that I would be the primary contributor, but that others would generate content intermittently to supplement my work. The idea was for me to create the lion’s share of the writing, but also to bring other folks into the fold. Their purpose would be to provide voices different from my own while also usefully alleviating my personal workload during my busiest times of the year. This would ensure that there would always be at least two or three new items on the site each week.

March 7th, 2012 marked the one-year anniversary of the last time someone other than myself wrote something for this site.

In fact, the subject of that article was a series of gift suggestions for a then-unborn child whose first birthday is (obviously) approaching rapidly.

I think my principle reason for trying to create a website that had multiple authors was my belief that such a site has more inherent credibility. A sole author’s work is merely a blog, of which there are literally hundreds of millions across the internet.

Of course, this is just a blog, after all. I realized fairly early on that I would have to distinguish it from those millions of others with worthwhile content rather than with an attempt to dress up my blog as something resembling a ~~poor~~ broke man’s Huffington Post or Gawker (minus some of the snark or the lefty leanings).

I’ve realized over the course of the fourteen months of this site’s existence that it also functions as an online portfolio of my writing work. Or, if you prefer, an endless audition directed at no one in particular. There’s no reason not to take ownership of that.

The upshot of all this is that there will be a few cosmetic changes made to the Axis of Ego. Those of you who merely frequent the front page and read the newest pieces probably won’t detect any difference whatsoever.

There still may be guest articles from time to time, but I have no plans to seek those out or ask for help. I have more than enough good ideas (or at least “ideas”) to formulate content on a regular basis without any outside input, just as I’ve done for over a year now.

Thank you for your continued readership. Feel free to follow me on Twitter.

Carry on.

Posted in Commentary, Site Stuff | Tagged Commentary, Housecleaning, Site Stuff | 2 Comments

SitCombat: 3/8/12

Posted on March 9, 2012 by Tom Garrett

Last week’s compliment of shows was one of the strongest since I’ve been running this little recurring feature. The Office came in THIRD with a B-plus. Archer put together probably one of its two best episodes of the season, yet still wound up bowing to an incredibly funny, Arrested-Development-caliber episode of 30 Rock.

Last week’s edition of the adventures of Liz Lemon and company was one of the better-written half-hours of television I’ve ever seen, and perhapsthe best I’ve seen recently. But, with Archer and the Officeboth on something of a roll, will 30 Rock be able to hold off the challenges of the opposition and take a second consecutive win for the first time this season? Or will the Office continue its strong finish to the year as we steamroll towards May?