One Space, Two Space, Red Face, Typeface

Posted on February 10, 2011 by Tom Garrett

I’m normally an even-tempered person.  If I fly off the handle, I assure you that it’s for comedic effect only.  In reality, I’m the guy who doesn’t get emotional about politics or religion or the other fundamental building blocks of our society.

However, once in a great while, an issue comes along that strikes such an emotional chord with me that I feel compelled to address it in an immediate and forceful manner.

Whether to put one space or two at the end of sentences is one such issue.

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Posted in Commentary, General Culture and News | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”: A Narrative Lyrical Analysis

Posted on February 8, 2011 by Tom Garrett

Lady Gaga.*  Two words synonymous with “Understated songwriting.”

Tackling the subtleties of the work of a performer with a proverbial finger on the very pulse of popular culture can modestly be described as daunting.  Yet, that’s what we’ve attempted.

The subject will be Gaga’s 2010 hit “Telephone.”  While anti-Gaga blasphemers and iconoclasts might label the song as chorus-heavy and repetitive, they fail to appreciate the intricate and powerful story that unfolds throughout her magnificent verses.

The multi-level analysis proved too challenging for one person to handle.  That’s why I’ve enlisted the help of Mike Austin to expedite the deconstruction.   He’ll be interpreting the Beyonce** portion of “Telephone” (marked by blue text) as the two of us explore the weighty undercurrents that flow through this cultural touchstone.

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Posted in Commentary, Music | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Random Jaw-Dropping 80’s Moment

Posted on February 7, 2011 by Tom Garrett

Saturday Night Live circa 1989:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The most amazing part of the show was actually the monologue, in which Gibson said the following:

“As I stand here, I realize that, in a live broadcast like this, something could go terribly wrong, and I could end up alienating millions of movie-going patrons . . . and you may be wondering why I would jeopardize all that I’ve worked for . . . So, why did I agree to host this show?  Because, sometimes, I just don’t think things through.  I mean, if someone calls and says, ‘Hey, you wanna host Saturday Night Live?,’ I say, ‘Sure!’ without even considering the potentially disastrous effect on my real job – a movie star.”

It’s comforting to look back twenty-odd years and be thankful that he dodged that bullet.

Posted in Commentary, Pictures, Television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Podcast Numero Dos

Posted on February 6, 2011 by The Axis of Ego

Tom and Mike (in studio!) talk a little football (but not much), the Grammys, and the website itself.  Take a listen below:

Posted in Music, Podcasts, Sports | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Slapdash Super Bowl XLV Preview

Posted on February 6, 2011 by Tom Garrett

The same slapdash rules apply to this Super Bowl preview as did my (surprisingly-accurate) conference championship previews: No serious research, just bloggy ramblings off the top of my head.  Setting the bar low . . .

The most surprising subplot for me in this year’s Super Bowl is the fact that Green Bay is somehow a favorite.  I’m not even talking about the Vegas oddsmakers.*   I saw an ESPN SportsNation poll this week where the consensus in about 47 states was that Green Bay was going to win.  This makes little sense.

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Posted in Commentary, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Breaking Down “The Chaperone” Trailer

Posted on February 4, 2011 by Tom Garrett

No one here questions the credentials of Paul Levesque (a/k/a Triple H) as a sports entertainer.  He’s among the most successful performers of his generation.  Levesque (a/k/a Hunter Hearst Helmsley) has a tremendous physique, is a good worker inside the ring, is able to present even the more outlandish storylines in a convincing manner, gives solid interviews, and, health permitting, will almost certainly retire with more world title reigns than any of the athletic thespians who have graced the squared circle.

But the question of whether Levesque (a/k/a the Game) is a good performer as a main event pro wrestler is a much different one than whether he can perform well as a starring actor by feature film standards.

That, however, is a question that we’re about to have answered.

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Posted in Commentary, Movies, Videos | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Message to Our (New) Readers

Posted on February 4, 2011 by Tom Garrett

This has been an eventful week for us here at The Axis of Ego.  WordPress.com unexpectedly chose an article I wrote on Tuesday as one of its “Freshly Pressed” featured pieces, giving rise to a tidal wave* of site traffic.  And, yes, we’ll be deconstructing another popular song in the very near future.  As in next week.

Because so many of the people now reading this blog are new, I wanted first to say welcome and thank you.  We appreciate your readership.

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Posted in Commentary, Site Stuff | Tagged | 1 Comment

Highfalutin’ Legalisms and the Super Bowl

Posted on February 3, 2011 by Mike Austin

If you watch any television at all this time of year, you’ll undoubtedly notice the awkward phrasing of certain commercials that euphemistically refer to the Super Bowl as “the Big Game” or “Football Sunday.”  As a licensed practitioner of the law, I can explain:  Each year, the NFL accounting team severely overestimates the “legal services” line-item in its annual budget.  As a result, “NFL Legal” fulfills its billable hour quota by drafting cease-and-desist letters for regional mattress chains and pizza shops.

This year, the NFL legal team will continue to justify its existence by aggressively enforcing its trademark in the term “Super Bowl” against advertisers using the phrase in their promotional material.  Of course, media outlets may continue to make use of the mark in news stories or other noncommercial discussions per the doctrine of fair use.  Fortunately for the A of E, our blog is as “noncommercial” as it gets.

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Posted in Commentary, Sports, Television | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Two and a Half Memo

Posted on February 2, 2011 by Tom Garrett

The shocking news this week that Charlie Sheen had once again endured a run-in with substance abuse a hernia prompted CBS to take swift, internal action related to Sheen’s hit television show, Two and a Half Men.   The cash cow sitcom generates an amazing $3.1 million per episode in advertising revenue alone, a staggering figure in a modern media environment marked by audiences fragmented into paper-thin slivers.  With the importance of the centerpiece show in mind, CBS circulated a memo concerning the future of the series to senior staff members of Two and a Half Men.

Fortunately, The Axis of Ego has obtained a copy of this memo.
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Posted in Commentary, Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Miley Cyrus: A Narrative Lyrical Analysis

Posted on February 1, 2011 by Tom Garrett

Miley CyrusDue to the multi-layered and largely cryptic messages used by musical sensation Miley Cyrus* in her compositions, I’ve decided to provide a Rosetta-Stone-esque primer for one of her songs: “Party in the U.S.A.”   This thought-provoking piece has had me ensnared by its complex lyrics since I first heard it last spring.**

Countless hours of work spent deciphering “Party in the U.S.A.” have paid off, as I proudly present the lyrical analysis you see below.  My one and only hope is that it will make Cyrus’ often enigmatic music more accessible to a wider audience, helping to bring her songs out of hipster cafes and upper-level music theory classes and into the mainstream.

Here, now, a narrative explanation of “Party in the U.S.A.”
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Posted in Commentary, Music | Tagged , , , , , , | 174 Comments