Cauvin on Carolla

I was going to write an article on the latest Adam Carolla-themed flap.  The essay probably would have spiraled into the usual verbose piece, touching on notions of free speech and whether our desire for an equality regime has gone so far as to obscure and suppress uncomfortable truths—even when delivered as humor.

But then J-L Cauvin wrote this, thus preemptively rendering obsolete anything that I would have to say about the topic.

I invite anyone who’s a fan of Carolla (as I am), or anyone who has a newfound (or longstanding) hate for the Aceman to read Cauvin’s article.  In it, he brilliantly distills the two major questions related to this kerfuffle.  Namely, whether what Carolla said had any merit, and, perhaps more to the point, what the “Carolla isn’t funny / Carolla is irrelevant” line of criticism actually says about those who lobbed it (Spoiler: He is both funny and relevant).

If you care at all about what happened this week, do yourself a favor and read Cauvin’s thoughts on the topic.

In closing, I’m going to post a video that immediately came to mind when I read the first wave of anti-Carolla articles online at outlets such as the Washington Post or Salon.  The substance is certainly different, but a general point that the late, great Patrice O’Neal makes here is also relevant in this context.  Enjoy.


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What to Make of Mad Men’s Fifth Season

Mad Men concluded its fifth season last night with an episode that seemed to revert the story—or at least Don’s story—to its factory settings.  Nothing’s for sure thanks to the semi-cliffhanger ending, but we at least got a hint that Don may be returning to his previous pattern of infidelity.

Why?  As with most things on the show, it’s not entirely clear, and it may never be.  The most obvious explanation would be depression over Lane and, by extension, Adam.  Don feels responsible for both suicides, and he receives no absolution even when he unilaterally decides to reimburse Lane’s widow with the $50,000 buy-in Lane provided to SCDP after Lucky Strike pulled out.

If that’s the correct analysis, the follow-up question is whether it’s merely depression that puts Don back on the path to infidelity.  Complicating matters is the fact that Don’s wandering eye during his previous marriage coincided with Betty’s acceptance of the role of a traditional (perhaps bored) housewife.

Here, the exact opposite is happening.  Megan is pursuing her acting ambitions vigorously, despite emotional abuse from her mother and some resistance from Don over possible out-of-town gigs.  Don relents in the season finale, reconsidering his previous position against using his influence to place his wife in an advertisement for an SCDP client.  Yet, we still get an unmistakable whiff of vintage 1960 Don Draper at the end of the episode.

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Papa, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

It’s safe to say that I’m a fat guy pizza aficionado.  Papa John’s is my favorite among the chain pizza “restaurants.”  In fact, placing a Sunday order to PJ’s is an almost-weekly ritual during football season.  Put simply, I’m a frequent customer.

Even if I had taken several days off from going to the gym, even if I had noticed a little more roundness in my face, even if I had eaten pizza at work earlier in the week, none of those fact patterns would have enough negative momentum to shame me into refraining from obtaining a pie (or two[1]) if the mood struck me.

That’s why it’s so remarkable that I recently found myself on to the Papa John’s website, my belly empty and my head full—full of mozzarella-covered visions of gluttony, that is—and wound up logging off in disgust without ordering anything.

What could cause such a strange—some might say “sane”—reaction?

Nothing short of a staggering blunder by the good folks at this fine pizzeria.

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Nine Issues That May Frame the Next Generation of Political Debate

With gay marriage legalization proliferating and the near-inevitability of same-sex marriage being legal in nearly every jurisdiction within a decade, the question becomes what will be the next “cause” that will begin to make legislative gains over the next twenty years?

Keep a few things in mind.  First, as I’ve explained before, the desire people have to be engaged in “important” ideological battles or “culture wars” never goes away, even if issues become settled.  In other words, even if every major political question currently in play in American politics—universal healthcare, abortion, and so on—were answered definitively for the time being, Americans would find something new about which to push for change.

The desire to be in the fray—and to feel important—is a kind of hunger.  Just as with actual hunger, even if you eat every morsel of a given type of food until there isn’t any food left, you’re eventually going to be hungry again.  The lack of that food won’t prevent you from getting hungry.  You’ll be craving food again soon enough.[1]

Secondly, I’m going to skip obvious causes, or ones that follow completely from current events.  The decriminalization of pot, or transgender issues (which have already been lumped in with gay rights) are so clear as to feel like cheating when compiling such a list.  I’m also excluding mere cultural / technological shifts, such as the almost-certain death of daily print media and the effects that might have on our society.  I’m limiting this list to nine topics that may give rise to debates that generate legislative or regulatory efforts.

Here, I think, are nine of the topics at the margins of discussion in 2012 that will become quite pivotal over the next decade or two.  I conclude each with the best guess at the chances of some degree of widespread reform occurring within the next twenty years.

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Not Creepy Enough

This 1988 ad for a local optical shop seems misguided at best.  The concept is that their low prices allow customers to purchase two pairs of glasses for the same price that their competitors charge for one pair assembled (is that the right verb?) using one-hour service.

This is apparently an especially attractive offer for mutant clientele:



As an FYI to you youngsters, giant lenses were popular in the 80’s.

He’s got an unmistakable look of satisfaction on his face that says “Hmm!  Not too shabby!”

Because of his bizarre facial configuration, this misshapen sideshow washout’s ears have to pull double duty when it comes to accommodating his giant (but reasonably-priced!) spectacles.

Also, if you did have two sets of eyes—both of which required glasses—would you really go with two different styles?  I feel like doubling up on the same frames draws slightly less attention to your unfortunate situation.

Personally, and I say this as the proud owner of a fivehead, I would go with nondescript frames for the lower eyes, and a Bret-Michaels-style giant bandana up top, possibly working in the cowboy hat combo.  Of course, the bandana is essentially a blindfold at that point, but so be it.

Logistical nightmare.  Also an actual nightmare.

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Awkward Moments in Entertainment History: A Steady Ringtone

Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig had already established themselves as international film stars by 2009.  Each achieved superstardom thanks to involvement with powerhouse movie franchise: Jackman was “Wolverine” from the X-Men series, while Craig landed the  coveted role of James Bond in that venerable cinematic institution.

Yet, neither lost his appetite for the stage.  In fact, they joined forces to play the characters in a two-man Broadway production of “A Steady Rain.”  The play follows the complicated lives of two Chicago police officers.  It received strong reviews upon its debut, broke the record for highest weekly gross by a non-musical, and drew interest from Steven Spielberg for a movie adaptation.

However, the play’s original run will likely be best remembered for an unfortunate (but funny) incident involving a cell phone.

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Any Minute Now

After years of outcry from frustrated fans and media members, the BCS appears to be headed toward extinction.  In its place, college football’s highest division will—at last—adopt a playoff system.  The details are uncertain at the moment, but the general idea will be to crown a titlist on the field without excluding any potential claimants to the throne.

But the good news may not end there.  An article I read last weekend suggested that the playoff system may be in place even earlier than we initially anticipated!

Specifically: 1986.


Four-team playoff?  Check!  Revenue sharing among all top-level schools?  Check!  Bowl chairmen opposed to the system on the grounds that “everyone wins” with bowls?  Check!  Networks willing to bid 10-to-14 million for the title game rights?  Che—wait.  Million?

I guess a few things do change.

I will now commence holding my breath . . .

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SitCombat: 5/10/12

The future of the Office and 30 Rock is still in doubt, although both may be moving toward official renewals. Both also may wind up knowing going in that next season will be their last. 30 Rock moves along a major plot point tonight with the return of Avery Jessup. Meanwhile, the corporate structure at Dunder Mifflin may be in for a shakeup thanks to a resurgent David Wallace.

All of that remains to be seen. On the SitCombat front, the Office put together a strong episode that toppled 30 Rock from the perch upon which it sat for an unprecedented nine consecutive weeks. Will the Office be able to start a streak of its own by continuing with a strong final run of episodes? Or will 30 Rock return to form and reclaim the crown from its fellow NBC series?

This was SitCombat for May 10, 2012:

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The Triumph of Self-Determination

The legislature of the state of Washington recently passed a measure to begin allowing same-sex marriages once the governor signs the bill into law this summer.  This action mirrored what occurred a few months earlier in the state of New York.  After several false starts, a lengthy debate, and a narrow vote, New York also passed legislation to redefine marriage to include same-sex relationships.

This is how democracy is supposed to work.

Voters in North Carolina elevated the state’s ban on same-sex marriage to its constitution this week.  The amendment also added a constitutional ban on civil unions or similar arrangements.  The measure passed by a comfortable margin.

The outcry over Amendment One’s passage, particularly from the young and from the famous, has been forceful and predictable.  This follows in the wake of Proposition 8’s passage (and subsequent legal issues) in California just a couple of years earlier.

I see both sets of events not as diametrically-opposed political outcomes, but as the same: Exercises in self-determination.

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More Fun With Old Articles

I saw this gem over the weekend.  The 1972 article recounts the then-novel prospect of female managers for a boys’ sport (in this case, the baseball team).  There’s a lot to like about this piece, including:

1. The coach, local icon P. K. Perrin, discussing the fact that he recruited girl managers as a way to attract more boys to come out for baseball.

2. One of the two girls being referred to as “pretty Vickie” by the author.

3. The other manager, Sharon, saying that she had some misgivings about the job because “I knew I’d feel awkward and like a dummy, and sometimes I do.”

4. Sharon later added, “[The players] treat us ok, but they do tease us a lot.  And everything has to be exactly right for them.  They say we don’t know anything . . . and they’re usually right.”

5. The coach talking about opposing schools offering “all kinds of [trade] deals” for the managers.

But perhaps the best of all is the not-so-subtle symbolism of the picture, in which the managers “help” one of the Manchester players “pick out a bat.”  Of course, maybe any implied vulgarity is solely the result of the forty-year-old photo being filtered through the lurid lens of my twenty-first-century mind.  On the other hand—just look at the title of the article!  My interpretation isn’t that much of a stretch.

We never had managers when I was playing high school football, much less female ones.  They were seen as a distraction.  We did have them in middle school, however.  And, quite frankly, they were.

In any event, it was a simpler time.  I sincerely hope that Sharon was able to overcome her inevitable eating disorder and lead a productive life after high school.

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