This is Not Lunch

Posted on September 14, 2012 by Tom Garrett

I understand that commenting on the eating habits of Americans is well-traveled territory.  And I’m certainly not within hailing distance of proper eating habits.  However, there are still certain lines I won’t cross—lines that separate man from insatiable animals unable to distinguish between piles of barely-edible refuse in a dumpster and actual sustenance.

That brings me to the crux of this piece.  This is a topic I’ve been wanting to discuss for some time, and, after seeing the thousandth commercial for the subject matter in question, could postpone no longer.

Hardee’s (or, for those of you in the unsettled territories, “Carl’s, Jr.”) has a promotion called the “$5 Big Bag Lunch.”  I will now deconstruct this abomination.

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Posted on September 6, 2012 by Tom Garrett

With the latter of the conventions coming to a close tonight, and, more importantly, me not wanting to stay up late to crank out another dog-related post, I thought it might be useful to dust off this gem from about six months ago. It’s worth a read as we ramp up for the hellish days of the last two months of a presidential election cycle.

Tom Garrett's avatarThe Axis of Ego

I hate to interrupt a string of lighthearted cultural observations, sports references, and stories about awkward moments in the annals of entertainment history with something more serious—but here goes.

A fascinating journal article came to my attention a couple of weeks ago.  The piece was remarkable in its content and unintentionally provided me with a helpful (if unnecessary) reminder about the current state of political discourse in the United States.

The paper, “After-birth Abortion: Why Should the Baby Live?” appeared in the Journal of Medical Ethics on February 23rd.  The title is appropriately suggestive of the subject matter.  The crux of the argument advanced by authors Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva is that, since abortion is accepted (or at least legal) in many circumstances wholly unconnected to the health of the baby or the mother, and since a newborn baby has not yet achieved true “personhood,” it therefore…

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Barney and Macy Today

Posted on August 31, 2012 by Tom Garrett

For those who are curious about the tiny, almost-hairless (great Cameron Crowe movie, btw) creatures I referenced last time, here’s what they look like all grown up.  As I said, they both recovered very nicely to grow up to be beautiful, healthy dogs.

Here’s sweet-as-pie Macy:

And here’s Barney, who continues to be the life of the party at all times:

I’ll post another video of them and their development in the near future.  On a personal note, I’m almost through my dreaded “busy time,” so I should be able to resume crafting posts that actually have some substance very soon.

This will undoubtedly come as a disappointment to most of you.

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Barney and Macy

Posted on August 24, 2012 by Tom Garrett

Continuing my series of short, easy-to-write articles prominently featuring videos of small creatures, I present today Barney and Macy.  Barney was my very first foster dog, and his sister Macy soon joined him to keep him company.  As you’ll see in this video, they had a skin condition that produced two results of note:

1. Most of their hair fell out.

2. Because their skin was itchy, I dressed them in “onesies” modified by scissors to keep them from scratching themselves too much.

The story has a very happy ending, as they both recovered nicely and grew up to be large, beautiful dogs who were adopted pretty quickly.  In fact, Barney (now known by the much-inferior name “Cy”) weighs about 75 pounds.

This video sees them in their very early stages, only a few weeks old and still with minimal hair.  Yet, they were happy animals who adored each other and found creative ways to play, including whatever the heck it is they’re doing in this clip.  Enjoy:

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More Bacon

Posted on August 17, 2012 by Tom Garrett

I am in the midst of writing three hours per night after working my day job, so, as I explained last time, this site is on the back-burner until September.

Fear not, loyal readers.  I will continue to generate weekly content, even if it’s the quickest, easiest content imaginable.  The sad truth is that most people would rather watch a short video clip of a dog than read a 3,000-word essay on an important political issue of the day[1].

Here, now, is Bacon howling at some television wolves he thought were real.  Enjoy.

[1] Or a professional wrestler.  Whichever.
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Low-Hanging (but Magical) Fruit

Posted on August 10, 2012 by Tom Garrett

Those of you who follow my other “career” closely (read: none of you) will know that this is my busiest time of the year.  A full-time job and extensive writing responsibilities elsewhere is not a combination conducive to spending a tremendous amount of time on this website.  Never fear, however, this blog still means as much to me as ever, and I’m committed to producing some kind of content—even if it means generating the content that requires the least heavy lifting.

With that in mind, I now present a video of my dog eating the remnants of a bowl of chili consumed by yours truly.  Enjoy, fans:

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One of the Good Ones

Posted on August 3, 2012 by Tom Garrett

Any high school history student in the United States has at least a vague understanding of the civil rights movement of the 1950s and 1960s.  Also common knowledge is the fact that not everyone in the country was comfortable with the more “militant” manifestations of that movement, particularly in the realm of athletics, where activists like Muhammad Ali, John Carlos, and Tommie Smith made statements in ways that unsettled even some sympathetic observers.

Thankfully (at least from the perspective of this 1970 AP article), there was George Johnson.

George, you see, didn’t want no trouble from nobody.  He was a happy-go-lucky guy who just wanted to play golf(!) and win on the PGA Tour.  This article is ostensibly a report on the first round of the National Airlines Open, but the author took the opportunity to make a lot of points that, well . . . didn’t have too much to do with putting or sand traps.

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The Axis of Ego Podcast: Breaking Bad (Mini-)Podcast

Posted on July 26, 2012 by The Axis of Ego

Old pal Joey Bland stopped by—in person, no less!—to record a short podcast covering the early returns on the fifth season of Breaking Bad.  Take a listen below as Tom and Joey discuss the first two episodes of 2012 and try to get a handle on the really important questions, like “Will Walter White be consumed by hubris?,” “Will Jesse have to kill Walt in order to survive the series?,” and “Will Mike’s eyelids always be at half-mast?”  Take a listen below!

Download: The Axis of Ego Podcast 07-25-12

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Thirteen Predictions about RAW 1000

Posted on July 23, 2012 by Tom Garrett

I hadn’t written a professional-wrestling-related article in a while, and, lest anyone forget that I’m a single, geeky, moderately-overweight, 30-something white guy, I figured I would make a few quick predictions for tonight’s historic broadcast of Monday Night RAW.

For the uninitiated, RAW (and I have no idea why we capitalize it, but we do) is the flagship program of the WWE (which is capitalized because it’s an acronym).  It first aired in January of 1993, and has, as of this writing, broadcast 999 episodes.  As we have been reminded on a regular basis for several years, it is the longestrunningweeklyepisodictvshow in history.

With the significance of tonight’s show in mind, here are some unsolicited predictions of varying prescience:

1. Kane interrupts the AJ / Daniel Bryan wedding: Duh.  Devotees will remember that Kane has improbably been involved in not one, but two on-air wedding interruptions.  This will serve both as a launching point for a feud, as well as a nice callback.  Of course, the preferable outcome might be Kane not interrupting (or interrupting to say “best wishes” and give them a bread-maker), and then Bryan cruelly dumping AJ at the altar as payback for the mindgames of the last couple of months.  Good lord, it’s weird that I actually devote brainpower to this stuff.

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My Dog Bacon

Posted on July 19, 2012 by Tom Garrett

I detailed the story of my friend Bacon a few months back.  I explained that he was a good doggie who was looking for a permanent home after bouncing around a few times with adoptive families who wound up not following through on their commitment to adopt.

Long story short, we reached a “last straw” moment at some point in the early spring.  Yet another round of adoption applications had resulted in no progress toward someone actually committing to adopt him.

I realized that, although living with me wasn’t an ideal situation for Bacon (since I have neither children nor another dog to serve as a playmate), he had been with me so long that the positive of going to an “ideal” home would be offset by the negative of being dislodged from surroundings to which he had become accustomed.

Since it was a wash at best, I decided to keep him.

So, he’s mine now.  All 27 pounds of him (which I’m told should be 23 pounds, so we’ll have to work on that).  He’s a good boy, and, although I wish he had more opportunities to play with other dogs, I think he’s happy here.

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