The Last Toy

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Tom Garrett

I recently helped my mom prepare for a yard sale by going to her house and sifting through my childhood toys so that she could label and group them more accurately.  As an only child in a middle-class family, I had a fairly substantial collection growing up: G. I. Joe, Transformers, and, to a lesser extent, Voltron, Thundercats, Silverhawks, Wheeled Warriors, Visionaries, M.A.S.K., Micro Machines, and more.  My cache of Masters of the Universe figures was particularly impressive, especially considering I had barely achieved sentience by the time MOTU reached the height of its popularity.

The lack of attachment I had to these items surprised me a little.  My only brief hesitation in letting my mom sell them was the idea that we could get much more money for them by going the eBay route, especially for some of the Star Wars toys.  After weighing the amount of work involved in conducting online auctions versus the relatively-modest payoff, I decided that the “juice” wasn’t worth the “squeeze.”

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Ghostbusters: A Narrative Lyrical Analysis

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Tom Garrett

In honor of our impending Halloween weekend* and the zombie Moammar Gaddafis and slutty-fill-in-the-blanks who come with it, I thought it only fitting to scrutinize arguably the greatest sort-of-Halloween-themed song of all time.

The song I Want a New Drug Ghostbusters by Huey Lewis & the News Ray Parker, Jr. went all the way to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1984.  Sandwiched between the legendary “Woman Out of Control” and “Jamie” in the Ray Parker singles discography, Ghostbusters went to the top of the charts on the strength of a catchy guitar riff, memorable lyrics (see below), and the overwhelming success of the ’84 blockbuster film that inspired it.  No wonder the song took a nearly a whole day-and-a-half to write!

Let us then examine the meaning of this unforgettable hit song as we prepare to celebrate this fructose-centric holiday:

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How Things Used to Work

Posted on October 25, 2011 by Tom Garrett

As I sat around on Sunday staring at a RedZone “quad-box” on my HDTV with my smartphone by my side and my laptop in my . . . uh . . . lap, I realized that even those of us who remember what the world was like before the Internet Era have fallen prey to it unaware of its implications.  We’ve somehow managed to habituate these profound changes to our lives.

My psychology teacher used to use the following example to illustrate the phenomenon of habituation: If you’re sitting in a classroom on a hot day with the window air conditioning unit running, you don’t “hear” the low, constant hum of the AC unless something redirects your conscious mind to it (in this case, the teacher saying “air conditioning”).  The constancy of the noise dulls your sensory response to it to the point that the noise is ignored.  He also used a similar example about not consciously feeling your own underwear until someone says the word “underwear.”  You get the point.

I think we’ve reached that level of desensitization with much of the technology that’s now melded to all aspects of our lives.  That hit home in concrete terms when I remembered a personal story that hadn’t crossed my mind in many years.  It was the equivalent of someone saying “air conditioning.”

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Plenty of Room Left on the Bandwagon

Posted on October 21, 2011 by Tom Garrett

My general preference is to avoid self-promotion.  However, I am proud of what I’ve accomplished so far with this website.  So, I wanted to pass along two quick suggestions to you, our faithful readers.

First, you can follow the Axis of Ego on Twitter (link).  Recent jewels include “Protip: When selecting a “safe word,” do NOT choose the word “harder.”  I only have about 115 followers, so you’ll be getting in on the ground floor of something prettttyyyy special.

But I understand – a Twitter follow can be a big step in a social media relationship.  Allowing all my nonsense wisdom  to show up in your feed could be seen by some as a big commitment.  If you yourself already follow several hundred accounts, and you’ve read this far, there’s probably no good reason not to follow.

Having said that, I understand that Twittering has become semi-sacred, especially to you youngsters.  That’s why I have an even more non-committal option for you!  You can “like” the Axis of Ego on Facebook (link)!

I’ll level with you: As of this writing, only 24 people “like” this website on Facebook.  That’s absurdly low.  I mean, pages for despicable things like NAMBLA and New Coke have about ten times that!  Each!!!

Don’t want to get updates?  No problem!  Just “hide” us in your news feed (I mean – don’t do that, but the point is that you can, in theory).

We can do better, people – but only with your help.

Thank you, and God bless America.

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What Commercials Have Taught Me About Myself

Posted on October 19, 2011 by Tom Garrett

Television is more than a wondrous box rectangle that bestows upon us hours of entertainment, information, infotainment, and entermation.  It’s a metaphorical window on our own society, more so even than the actual windows that face outward to the real world (and, as a bonus, you can stand in front of the television “window” naked without running afoul of any pesky “laws”).  Of all the gifts television gives us, the 30-second bundles o’ culture we call “commercials” are the most instructive.

I’ve learned much about myself and my own gender by watching commercials, particularly the more enlightened commercials of the past few years.  Here are just ten of the valuable pearls of wisdom provided by these spots . . .

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Star Wars Revisited: The Extras

Posted on October 17, 2011 by Tom Garrett

The final three discs of the Star Wars blu-ray set consist entirely of extras.  Disc seven includes extras from Episodes I-III, disc eight covers the original trilogy, and disc nine has “documentaries and spoofs” spanning the entire series.

Rather than assign each disc a grade as I did with the movies, I’ll instead point out the pros and cons.

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Right On Schedule

Posted on October 13, 2011 by Tom Garrett

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The Axis of Ego Podcast: Breaking Bad Finale

Posted on October 11, 2011 by The Axis of Ego

With the finale of the fourth season of the amazing Breaking Bad now history, Chicago improviser and comedy actor Joey Bland stops by again to talk about the episode, Jason Whitlock‘s complaints about the B. B. finale, where the final season of the show might be headed, and the development and evolution of the Walter White character.  As a bonus, Tom launches into an unsolicited Netflix rant at the end!  Enjoy.

Download: The Axis of Ego Podcast 10-11-11

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Findings in from Controversial Pediatric Drug Study

Posted on October 10, 2011 by Tom Garrett

Have you ever wondered what it might look like if you gave cocaine to an eight-year-old? If so, (1) you’re probably already in jail, but (2) at least you can wonder no more:

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Occupy Wall Street’s Deman-ifesto (Translated Version)

Posted on October 7, 2011 by Tom Garrett

Our previously-vague, sometimes-confusing comrades friends at Occupy Wall Street finally released a long-awaited proposed list of demands a couple of days ago.  And, yes, the group has since pointed out that this demani-festo is merely the work of one supporter, and not an official statement by the group or its “General Assembly.”  Occupy Wall Street further states that the list’s prominence is entirely the result of actions by “irresponsible news/commentary agencies.”

That inconvenient truth won’t get in the way of a good piece.  Let’s break this down – irresponsibly!

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